Tuesday, May 27, 2008


I know it has been a really long time since I last posted so I will try to catch you up if it is even humanly possible. My hubby got injured about a month and 1/2 ago and with him being in the military he has to deal with the military docs which if you know someone in the military you know what I am talking about. To make a long story short he has no feeling in the fingers on his right hand and has gotten really klutzy because of this along with shooting and aching pains radiating from his elbow. The docs thought at first it was carpal tunnel and very slowly they ruled that out and now are thinking it is in his neck! On top of it all back when he was in Junior High School he fell on the ice and totally crushed his right elbow which is the offending limb today. So I think something is going on in that elbow but I am not a doctor so we will continue to play the appt. and test game till they land on the answer! He has had an MRI, cat scan, EMG, and now another MRI is scheduled for tomorrow so we will see. This is only part of why I have been MIA! Many of you already know from reading earlier posts that my Mom had had 2 heart attacks about 2 and 1/2 months ago. Well since then alot has happened and she has gone down hill progressively. About 1 month ago (maybe longer, I have so lost track of time) she fell at my sister Kay's house and broke her wrist. The break was bad enough that they had to put pins into the wrist to stabilize it. It seems like when she fell and broke her wrist that it was also the straw that broke the camels back. When they did the outpatient surgery of putting in the pins for the wrist she totally lost her faculties to the point that she got aggressive and violent with my sister Kay right after the surgery when all Kay was trying to do was get Mom settled and elevate the arm as instructed. But, needless to say Mom would have none of it! She hit my sister and clawed her and kicked her and said some very not so nice things which is totally not like my Mom. So that started the next string of events that began with her going into the hospital immediately that afternoon to find out what the heck was going on. She was in the hospital for about 3 days and was then placed in a nursing home for recuperation (? don't know if that is spelled right and I am just gonna leave it) and healing time for her. Needless to say my Mom is not who she used to be anymore on a regular basis. She has gotten to the point that she doesn't even remember who anyone is or for that matter where she is. She has been diagnosed with Dementia which is progressing extremely rapidly and now they are even thinking it maybe Altzeimers (I know this is spelled wrong but once again it is staying this way) so she has an appt. tomorrow with her internist and that is going to be addressed in the appt.. She was supposed to be going back to my sister Kay's this week but with things the way they are and that the staff at the home has definitely noticed more and more problems with Mom that will not be happening which is for the best in my book. I hate that she has to be where she is but it is definitely for her benefit because none of us could give her the medical care and constant monitoring that she needs right now because along with the mind going she is having way to many problems with her heart. She is definitely having what they call Sundowners problems so no sleeping at night and that is when she is definitely roaming and confused the most. This is such a hard thing for my sisters and I to accept right now but it is what it is and there is no denying it any longer. I think we all wanted to believe that it was just a temporary state of things and that she would bounce back to her normal self as she always has in the past but this time it is just not happening. So that is where things stand as of right now. I think for my sisters and I the hardest part is seeing this happen to Mom especially when this was always her biggest fear. My heart breaks for Mom and what this must be like for her. So if you could keep her in your prayers it would greatly be appreciated. So basically that is why I have been MIA and not feeling very crafty at all! I am trying right now to dig myself out of the deep feelings of depression and dig my studio out at the same time which is a chore in itself! Things have just been accumulating in the studio to the point of no return because of course my depression needed lots and lots of retail therapy which we all know doesn't really help much but it sure feels good at the time! So all those purchases have just been piling up literally on the floor and any available surface so that there is no longer an available surface! And ontop of all that I have actually been having the feelings of needing to create something, I don't know what but something and have no place to do the creating because of the mess! So right now I am digging out and hope to have that all accomplished by the end of the week and actually start creating before the weekend comes. Those are my goals and I sure hope I accomplish them because the state of my studio doesn't help the state of my mind at all! Lol!! Thank you all for being my friends and being there in good times and in bad! Tracy